My Life in Recovery

Hey all,

It has definitely been awhile since I have posted anything.  I am going to start being more positive about everything and looking forward to my future instead of regretting all of the decisions I have made in my past.  I would like to explain my life in the last year.
I went from Grand Blanc, Michigan to Flint, Michigan to the New Path Sober House where I stayed for five days detoxing off of opiods and alcohol.  I went to Flint Odyssey House on January 16th and stayed until August 16th.
They were able to set for me a new structured schedule, a new way of living life without turning to the negativity because I could not cope with everyday stresses and disappointments.  I will be eleven months clean and sober in two days! With that being said, my sober date is Christmas Day and I will always remember that.
I gotta give a huge thank you to my Odyssey family and if you are reading this, thank you for everything you did for me.  I don't know how I can repay you back except to live the best life that I know how to.

Family Life

I currently stay with my mother in Utah and I am so happy to have a better relationship with her and the rest of my family.  I have a therapist I see every week and a trauma group I attend every week as well.  I have a regular care physician, a dentist and I plan on getting an eye exam soon.

Most of you already know that I had my first visit in almost 6 years with my oldest son Aiden, who will be 10 years old in April.  He was very nervous to come into our home as was I but I told him that I had some Pokemon gifts for Christmas and he came in and wanted to open it right away.  I bought him some Pokemon cards and D-Bird, who is the Pokemon who delivers all of the gifts to the other Pokemon.

I pray every night and I read my bible every night.  I attend church every week.  It helps knowing that the Lord will always be there for me and answer my prayers.

Thanks for reading and I promise to post again soon.

New Year Changes

Let's start off by saying I hope this year goes better than the last one...here's hoping.

I've made quite a few mistakes and choices in the last few months and I am going to try my best to explain them to you all.

I am still living in Michigan, but instead of living with who I thought was my boyfriend, is now my roommate.  I am currently sleeping on a cot in the dining room area, waiting on a bed.  The room is big enough that it is comfortable for me.

I am also currently looking for a job, it doesn't matter what kind of job because I will take anything at this point.  I am also planning on getting my driver's license and a car by April or May and I will keep you updated on that.

...

The day before Christmas Eve, I decided to have 3 dates planned for one night.  I planned on making each of the dates about 2 - 3 hours long each but I only made it to two of the dates.  I had my first date with this guy Zeke who didn't even pay attention to me at all and almost left me alone at a mall, in the dark, not knowing where I was in the first place.  I had my second date with this guy Michael, but I ended up relapsing on alcohol again and making another big mistake that I won't tell you about, but on a side note, coconut rum and grapefruit juice do not mix.

I had a few drinks with my now roommate's family on Christmas Eve because it was the holiday.  Sue me.

I started talking to a few more guys on POF but decided to stop talking to guys right now until I get my life back on track.

I went to my first AA meeting this past Thursday and it was really relieving to give in the my faith and hope, give up my pride and face my reality.  I am planning on giving my testimony at church tomorrow as well.

I finally got everything I need to continue my hobbies such as freehand drawing, coloring and reading.  I also decided to give cross stitch a chance because it looked very fun and interesting, so I will see how that turns out.

I started taking some new diet pills that are also dietary supplements and help with water weight, but it is helping me get to where I want to be.  I have been taking all of my medications for a few months now.  I have been to the dentist once already a couple weeks ago and I am going to continue to go back until my teeth are fixed.  I have a treatment plan already set up and it is covered by my Medicaid insurance out here.  I am also going to the eye doctor to get a new eye prescription and new glasses that are not bent, and maybe get contacts soon as well.  I am also planning on budgeting to bleach and dye my hair back to blonde professionally at the local salon next month.
...

I am probably forgetting something and I know I just gave you a lot of information but again, here is to the new year!!  I love you all!!

Bye For Now

Hey everybody,

I am not going to post any blogs for a while. I need to get my personal life and problems straightened out but I will make another post starting every week, with the first one being an update but for now, I will talk to you all again in the first week after the new year.

I hope you all will keep being my faithful readers and I can't wait to post again later.  I want to hear in the comments what everybody's new year's revolutions are.  Thank you everyone...again.

My 5 Top Favorite Music Artists

Hey everyone, I am really sorry I haven't posted in quite a while but I know my readers will stick me me as I continue to post really cool stuff, right? Well,  this post isn't any different expect that I have picked my top 5 music artists that I currently listen to all the time now, so I am going to let you know the artists and their favorite songs of mine with pictures so you have more information about me.  Let's get started...

BIGBANG

Always
Bad Boy
Bae Bae
Bang Bang Bang
Beautiful Hangover
Blue
Fantastic Baby
Fxxt it

Flower Road
Haru Haru
If You
Koewokikasete
La-La-La

Last Dance
Last Farewell
Let's Not Fall In Love
Lies
Loser
Love Song
Monster
Sober
Still Alive
Stupid Liar
Sunset Glow
Tell Me Goodbye
Tonight
We Like 2 Party

We Belong Together

G-DRAGON (GD)

This Love
Heartbreaker
Breathe
One Of A Kind
Crayon
Coup D'Etat
Who You?
MichiGO
Crooked
That XX
Untitled, 2014

TAEYANG

Only Look At Me
Superstar
I Need A Girl
Wedding Dress
Eyes, Nose, Lips
Ringa Linga

SEUNGRI

Strong Baby
VVIP
Let's Talk About Love
Gotta Talk To You
1, 2, 3
Where R U From?

T.O.P.

Doom Dada
Turn It Up

DAESUNG

Wings (Today)

SUB UNIT

GD and TOP:

High High
Oh Yeah
Don't Go Home
Baby Goodnight
Knock Out
Zutter

GD and Taeyang:

Good Boy

FALL OUT BOY

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me
American Beauty / American Psycho
Centuries
Dance, Dance
I Don't Care
Immortals
Irresistible
Sugar, We're Going Down
This Ain't A Scene, It's A G**D*** Arms Race
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
Uma Thurman

.... this is still FOB, but it is exclusively from the album Save Rock and Roll....

The Youngblood Chronicles

The Phoenix
My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark ( Light Em Up )
Alone Together
Where Did The Party Go?
Just One Yesterday ft. Foxes
The Mighty Fall ft. Big Sean
Miss Missing You
Death Valley
Young Volcanoes
Rat A Tat ft. Courtney Love
Save Rock and Roll ft. Elton John

THE PRETTY RECKLESS

Going To Hell
Kill Me
Make Me Wanna Die
Heaven Knows
You
Just Tonight
My Medicine
Take Me Down

BLOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR

.... don't listen to these songs with kids around.....

Call Me Master
Scream For My Ice Cream
S My D
It's On Like Donkey Kong
I <3 Hello Kitty
P. L. U. R.
Ima Monster

PANIC AT THE DISCO

I Write Sins Not Tragedies
The Ballad of Mona Lisa


Thank you guys for reading.  I know I posted a lot of song names but you don't have to listen to any of them if you feel offended by what I like.  I would just like to know which of my 5 music artists you like the best.

The Truth

Hey everyone, I am going to tell you a little about what has been going on the last few months concerning my health and weight.  I figured you guys would like to know if I am being honest.

As a few of you already know, I used to weigh 237 pounds but now I weigh about 150. I'm not totally sure because I usually go to the doctor every month, but I haven't been in a little over a month, so I could've lost a few pounds.  I canceled ketchup and salt from my diet and switched up the brand of mayo that I use.

Also, if I am being totally honest with all of you, I have these conditions; concerning my health and what it may or may not be helping me.

• Asthma
• Manic Depressive Bipolar
• Insomnia
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Iron Deficiency Anemia

I am sure I am forgetting something but my mind right now is kind of crazed.  I am also on 13 or 14 different medications but I am currently only taking my iron supplement pill. 

If any of you know the song that is the same as my title of this blog post, then we are good because that song pretty much sums up my life now.  At least, most of it.

Sorry for the short blog, next week will be better.

Thank you all for your friendship everyone.

I Moved

Let me tell you all about the last month of my life.

I first met my boyfriend online a little over 4 months ago.  About 3 months I was talking to my boyfriend about coming to visit him, in Michigan.  I stayed here for about 2 weeks when I decided I am going to stay.  I personally love the peacefulness and secularity of this town.  I don't plan on coming back, at least not for a while.

My mother, my grandmother, my two sisters and even my grandpa's 3rd wife ( I will not ever call her my grandma, she doesn't deserve that title, at least, not from me).

Here are some decisions I have had to make in the past month, and if you are really my friend, you will not judge me and accept that this is the life I have chosen for myself.  I have had a really shitty life up until now.  Before I even came out here, you all need to understand what my life was back at home.  My mother controlled my life, when I needed to put on body spray to when I ate...breakfast, lunch or dinner.  She even controlled every aspect of my son's life from when I changed his diaper to when he would eat and how much.

• I can have any kind of "fun" whenever I want to
• I can have any kind of alcohol whenever I want to, for now, I've only had a bottle of blueberry and a bottle of cherry vodka, 35% proof

and most importantly,

• I put my son Caleb in foster care.

If any of my friends are still my friends after this post, I really appreciate your friendship and thank you. I will try to post again next week, until then.

45 Life Lessons

Whether life lessons come from Dr. Seuss, Einstein, Maya Angelou, your mom, sister, or best friend, life lessons are what makes us who we are today.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

Pay off your credit cards every month.

You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Cry with someone.  It's more healing than crying alone.

Save for retirement, starting with your first paycheck.

When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

It's OK to let your children see you cry.

Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.

Today is special.

Overprepare, then go with the flow.

Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

The most important sex organ is the brain.

No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

Frame every so-called disaster with these words; "In five years, will this matter?"

Forgive everyone everything.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Time heals almost everything.  Give time, time.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Belive in miracles.

Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

Your children only get one childhood. Make it memorable.

Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

The best is yet to come.

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.

Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

If you don't ask, you don't get.

Yield.

Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.


I read through all of these life lessons before I posted them, and I think that they are very good.  Let me know what you think.


Thank you all for reading. Stay tuned for my next blog post.  Until next time.