The Truth

Hey everyone, I am going to tell you a little about what has been going on the last few months concerning my health and weight.  I figured you guys would like to know if I am being honest.

As a few of you already know, I used to weigh 237 pounds but now I weigh about 150. I'm not totally sure because I usually go to the doctor every month, but I haven't been in a little over a month, so I could've lost a few pounds.  I canceled ketchup and salt from my diet and switched up the brand of mayo that I use.

Also, if I am being totally honest with all of you, I have these conditions; concerning my health and what it may or may not be helping me.

• Asthma
• Manic Depressive Bipolar
• Insomnia
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Iron Deficiency Anemia

I am sure I am forgetting something but my mind right now is kind of crazed.  I am also on 13 or 14 different medications but I am currently only taking my iron supplement pill. 

If any of you know the song that is the same as my title of this blog post, then we are good because that song pretty much sums up my life now.  At least, most of it.

Sorry for the short blog, next week will be better.

Thank you all for your friendship everyone.

I Moved

Let me tell you all about the last month of my life.

I first met my boyfriend online a little over 4 months ago.  About 3 months I was talking to my boyfriend about coming to visit him, in Michigan.  I stayed here for about 2 weeks when I decided I am going to stay.  I personally love the peacefulness and secularity of this town.  I don't plan on coming back, at least not for a while.

My mother, my grandmother, my two sisters and even my grandpa's 3rd wife ( I will not ever call her my grandma, she doesn't deserve that title, at least, not from me).

Here are some decisions I have had to make in the past month, and if you are really my friend, you will not judge me and accept that this is the life I have chosen for myself.  I have had a really shitty life up until now.  Before I even came out here, you all need to understand what my life was back at home.  My mother controlled my life, when I needed to put on body spray to when I ate...breakfast, lunch or dinner.  She even controlled every aspect of my son's life from when I changed his diaper to when he would eat and how much.

• I can have any kind of "fun" whenever I want to
• I can have any kind of alcohol whenever I want to, for now, I've only had a bottle of blueberry and a bottle of cherry vodka, 35% proof

and most importantly,

• I put my son Caleb in foster care.

If any of my friends are still my friends after this post, I really appreciate your friendship and thank you. I will try to post again next week, until then.

45 Life Lessons

Whether life lessons come from Dr. Seuss, Einstein, Maya Angelou, your mom, sister, or best friend, life lessons are what makes us who we are today.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

Pay off your credit cards every month.

You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Cry with someone.  It's more healing than crying alone.

Save for retirement, starting with your first paycheck.

When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

It's OK to let your children see you cry.

Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.

Today is special.

Overprepare, then go with the flow.

Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

The most important sex organ is the brain.

No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

Frame every so-called disaster with these words; "In five years, will this matter?"

Forgive everyone everything.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Time heals almost everything.  Give time, time.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Belive in miracles.

Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

Your children only get one childhood. Make it memorable.

Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

The best is yet to come.

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.

Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

If you don't ask, you don't get.

Yield.

Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.


I read through all of these life lessons before I posted them, and I think that they are very good.  Let me know what you think.


Thank you all for reading. Stay tuned for my next blog post.  Until next time.

My 10 Year High School Reunion

Everything in high school seems great until you graduate and you have to face life and reality.  We had our HS reunion at Centerville Junior High, while some of us went there together before high school, and then went to Viewmont High School for 3 long years. You make some friends and you lose some.  

Let me tell you who I talked to during the two hours of the reunion, a couple of people that came to talk to me and who I didn't get a chance to talk to.

1. Marchelle Roskelley - I believe we just said hi to each other and asked how each other were doing.
2. Camille Larsen and Nate Larsen - I talked to Camille a little bit and in the beginning, Nate and I had a great chat.
3. Braden and Raelena Farmer - I got to meet Braden's wife and daughter and we talked for a little bit. We haven't even seen each other before now for about 7 years.
4. Ryan Buchanan - He said hello to me first, and I did not recognize him. I had to ask his wife what his last name was so I could remember. Then Ryan, his wife, their son, and I all had a decent conversation.
5. Nick Maybey - He came over to me and talked to me for about 3 or 4 minutes. I am pretty sure that we were both thinking about that awkward and appalling one time kiss in the hallway of the second floor of our high school.  At least, that's my opinion of it and him.
6. Taylor Davies - He came over to me and we talked for a few minutes. It was a great conversation.
7. I didn't get a chance to talk to Landon Peay, Adam McGuire, or Lacey Reeves, among others. 
8. Jacki Italisano and Matt Italisano - We talked for about 10 minutes before we all left.  I hope we stay in contact but again, that's what we said in high school and it's been 10 years.

I really missed seeing Arianne Hellewell, Xochil Cole and Courtney Coleman. I haven't seen any of them in years. I  hope we are still friends.

There was a raffle tonight and I was hesitant to put my name in because I know I never win anything, but I actually did win a $10 Starbucks Gift Card.

Also, let me tell you, I am not going to attend the 20 year HS Reunion and sometimes people you think are your friends, are not your true friends. It's just another hard lesson to learn.

Thanks for reading everybody. I hope you enjoyed it. I will be posting another one next week. Until next time my friends.

To my son, As a Mother, Part 2

Hey everybody, I know I didn't post a blog last week and I am sorry and for that, I am posting one today and another one later this week, so keep your eyes open.  This post in particular is for all of the mothers, grandmothers, great - grandmothers who have sons, teenagers, grown children, grandchildren and even great - grandchildren.  I found some more great poems about (boys in general) that I love and I want to share them with all of my faithful readers. I hope you enjoy.

On the Night You Were Born
On the night you were born
the moon smiled with such wonder
that the stars peeked in to see you
and the night wind whispered,
"Life will never be the same."
Because there had never been anyone
like you ever in the world.
So enchanted with you
were the wind and the rain that they
whispered the sound of
your wonderful name.
Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn
on the wonderful, marvelous
night you were born.
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My home is filled with toys, has
fingerprints on everything and is
never quiet. My hair is usually a mess
and I'm always tired, but there is
always LOVE and LAUGHTER.
In twenty years my children won't
remember the house or my hair, but
they will REMEMBER the time we
spent together and the
LOVE they felt.

-- Unknown
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A few things your mom may not have told you
She loves you more than herself.
She has watched you while you were asleep.
Every time you're upset, her heart sinks.
You make her life meaningful.
She would give you her last dollar.
You inspire her and give her hope.
She smiles knowing you are her child.
You could NEVER disappoint her.
She thinks you are one in a million.

You're the best thing that has ever happened to her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They Grow So Fast
And that phrase seems both so
totally true and so totally false at
the same time,  because in the
day-to-day of it nothing seems
fast at all. A meal can take an
eternity. A sleepless night a
lifetime. And yet everyone says so.

And so I want to hold him in my
arms a little longer today, because
already my baby is gone. Already
there is a little boy is his place. And
one day not too far in the future,
there will be an older boy in his
place, and then a teenager, and then
a young man.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before There Was You
Before there was you, I slept until noon...
I  took naps when I wanted and didn't watch cartoons
Before there was you, life was filled with less stress
There were no toys on the floor and the house was not a mess

Before there was you, I was wined and I was dined
I never checked for poop by sniffing a behind
Before there was you, I could go to the mall
Without disapproving looks of shock and appall

Before there was you, I'd primp for an hour
Now, I will go days without taking a shower
Our lives have changed completely, but this much is true
I never knew pure joy, before there was you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I will continue to hold my child.
I will continue to cuddle my child.
I will come to my child's
aid when I hear a cry.
I will wear my child.
I will nurse my child.
I will co sleep with my child.

These things do not "spoil"
a child. They help a child
thrive in a world that is
constantly trying to take
away our natural instincts
as parents.

So love them and when
you feel like you've loved them
enough, love them even more.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading. I will post again later this week. Until next time.

My Best Friend, Valerie Manwill

I want to thank all of my readers first off by saying, "It is a pleasure writing for you and this is going to be one FANTABULOUS blog this week so don't stop reading now, it WILL get better, I promise!"

Now, Valerie Manwill has been my friend since the beginning of Junior High School on into High School and further on into what we adults call life....lol

She has always been there for me, through "the good, the bad, and the ugly".  In short, that phrase is comparing what my life has been, not hers.  Now, if my memory serves me right, Valerie was there when I had to have my spinal fusion surgery in 8th grade.  It was either that or get to go on a summer trip to Australia and New Zealand, but my spine was curving into my heart and lungs so I really didn't have a choice.  In the end, she was always there for me, beginning to end.

Now in High School, there was a time when I was in drama class with Mr. Anderson.  Anybody remember him? Does he still work there at that high school? Who knows? I'm getting side - tracked.  I was in a play called the Christmas Carol and since I couldn't hardly remember any lines, I got to be the town spokeswoman, who only read about two or three lines, and the ghost of future past, who walked through the fog and stood by a tombstone while moving my arm from the right to the left, or maybe it was the other way around.  Either way, Valerie fits into this scenario because all of the English classes had to come watch the play and I am pretty sure she watched me embarrass myself.
On a little side note, I was sweating to death because when I was the town spokeswoman I wore a dress, but I didn't have time to change so I had to put that heavy black robe on over the dress by the time it was my time to be on stage as the ghost of future past, to put it shortly, it was a long night and we did the same thing for two or three nights in a row. She was there beginning to end.

The next few years flew by and I didn't see you again until 2013 when we saw each other at the Centerville Single's Ward.  It was great seeing you again. It was like no time had even gone by but I know you have gone on your mission to Peru and maybe a couple of other things that I don't know about and that's okay. Before we saw each other at the church, we haven't seen each other in 5 years, but we still remained best friends. I think that is a testament of friendship right there.  If it's not, I don't know what is.

I hope you and your growing family have a great time in Arizona. If you decide to come back, you'll come back and we can hang out again but until then my friend, I will text you as always and no matter what, you will always be my best friend.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate it. I will post another one next week. Until next time.

The ABCs of a Good Mom

Hey everybody, sorry for not posting in another week. I promise to post every week from now on, thanks to my readers.  I found this information that you will read on Pinterest and I found it interesting, and I found the photos on Google. Just letting you know ahead of time.

THE ABCs OF A GOOD MOM:

• Ask me about my day
• Be present when you're with me
• Celebrate my little victories
• Dote on me
• Encourage me when I'm down
• Forgive my mistakes
• Grow with me
• Help me when I need it
• Insist I eat vegetables
• Joke with me
• Kiss me when I don't want you to
• Listen to me
• Make memories with me
• Notice when I do something right
• Organize me until I can do it myself
• Play with me a lot
• Question me about my day
• Read to me or with me
• Smile at me
• Turn off my electronics
• Understand me
• Value me
• Wait patiently -- I'll get it someday
• XXX and OOO me everyday
• Yell less
• Zero in on what makes me, me

Thank you all for reading. I am going to be posting another blog tomorrow night to make up for the one I did not do last week. Look forward to it.  Until next time my friends.